he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
