I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
