o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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