I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
