Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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