dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
porn star boner night. come get it.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
