the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
