I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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