Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
