mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
