I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
