sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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