Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
