Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
