if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
