too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
