just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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