what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
