I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize