We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
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