Banned from zoo.
Again?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
