also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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