Pappa wants mamma naked
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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