talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
