Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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