Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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