Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
