I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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