Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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