that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
