so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
