yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
