I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
