I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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