its not stalking. its research.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
