: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
