u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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