You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
