I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
