oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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