You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
