I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
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