I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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