im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
