That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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