It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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