Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm bleeding and have questions
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
