he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
