I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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