remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
