Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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