THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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