he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
