i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
