with your own penis?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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