Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
