Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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