everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize